Ok let’s do this finally.
Yes I’m 30 years old and if I’m honest to all of you I’m also little bit lost what i wants to be when I’m growing up.. if I will grow. I have noticed that writing things up is helping me and if there is anyone same age or younger or older still in Same place with me .. then you are not alone.
My life is really changing in this moment.. and I say really. Here is small explanation… My relationship was just ending and it’s feels really bad but still even before that I was struggling with my life and in two and half months I will be not employed anymore .. So two big things are going to leave from my life.
Anyhow that freedom to leave my jacket open and just try to find new inspiration for my life is kinda liberating but also I’m that type of person who likes to feel to be safe .. so also that is giving me some anxiety. In this’s moment I try to think that if I don’t take any risk in my life I will be always in same place and anything what I like to experience will not happen. Believe me I have quite a lot dreams and things what I like to do in my life and I like to be that person who is some day saying that “good that I was trying” more than who is thinking that “oh fuck ..why I didn’t do it” .
What come for love and end of relationship in this point I’m there where I just try to learn to live alone again. It’s still hard and still there is so many good memories and in heart love that it will take a moment or two to get that point that I can love someone again in romantic meaning. I don’t like to be bitter for him and I have to say that I can’t hate him. I hope that in some day we can be friends because in my opinion if you have had luck to find some person who is so nice and good for you .. you just can’t throw him or her to away from your life.
Life will take me somewhere for sure .. I just can hope that there is anything more good for me .. for change. I try to keep my dreams and believe that dreams can come true. Meanwhile I will try my best to write here all good and bad things what seems for me to be important.
With love : Hennette